Vancouver is a Fucked Up City

So I was reading The Straight (big surprise there) and came across an article that is about a couple who has built a sweet as garden behind their apartment building in East Van.  Sadly, the article isn't about how stupendous gardens are. Rather, it is about how their landlord has basically given them a cease and desist letter re: gardening. One of their (the landlord's) issues is with them "running a business". After googling the address to see what the building looked like (I'm such a fucking real-estate nerd now. It's gross), a few results on a site called Village Vancouver came up where Jodi (she's one of the gardeners) and a group she's part of called "Backyard Bounty Collective" who are all about "City Folk growing their own food" which I think is pretty rad, but there again, I'm kind of a hippie. Anyway, I guess I could vaguely see the direction the landlord is coming from there. Sort of. Except she's basically just offering people who are interested a look-see at her system. For free, from the looks of it. Not really a business. More like the epitome of "non-profit". Anyway, IANAL (best acronym ever! "I Am Not A Lawyer"), so I'm not here to argue the minute legal issues here or tell you who I think is right or who should win. I get that if money ever exchanged hands the landlord is responsible for the "business" that was conducted and if the building isn't zoned right they can be fined. It really sucks for everyone.

And that, good friends, is what I'm here to bitch about. When the fuck did our lives become so fucking zoned, bylawed, legalized or criminalized so that we couldn't sell a fucking tomato to an acquaintance if we wanted to? Jesus, I mean by those standards because Amanda has cut a few people's hair in exchange for food or company we should have had our apartment zoned for it? Fucked up. Can't have a bloody bake sale because no one has foodsafe? Fucking stupid. Oh wait, no, thank you, Board of Bullshit, for saving us from another Cookie Cholera outbreak like we had back in '86 before idiotic laws were in place like they are today. Man, I feel so safe knowing that everyone who hands me my cookie on a napkin will have taken a course to do so. Don't mind the fact that a four year old went missing for a couple of days and was returned to the house which was "under surveillance" without the police noticing. I WILL NOT DIE FROM EATING A COOKIE SOME RETIRED OLD LADY BAKED, THANK GOD!!!!!! I will also, apparently, not buy a few home grown carrots out of a back alley, because the Residential Tenancy Board will keep me safe from.... pesticide free food? Me supporting local people? ... umm... Getting excited about being more green... ? People affording rent? Thanks for that.... I feel better already.

I think what really kills me about this is that a whopping 20 dollars or so may have at one point been exchanged (and that is a hypothetical assumption, I know nothing about this fact) and people are potentially going to lose their fucking home over this and I STILL haven't been paid my last pay-cheque by my former employer? Who the fuck is championing this case? Who the fuck is ensuring people aren't getting screwed left right and centre by their employers, landlords, et al? No one. The worst thing that could possibly happen in this city is that someone might make an extra buck by having a garden, and someone might hand you a cookie that someone else who hasn't taken a day long course that teaches you to not be a fuckwit has touched.

So, in short: you can't have a garden, but it's ok to work for free in Vancouver. Don't drink the Kool-Aid, no one has Serving It Right.